


Newton's First Law

by NRGburst



Series: Newton's Laws of Motion [1]
Category: The Martian (2015), The Martian - All Media Types, The Martian - Andy Weir
Genre: Canon Compliant, Community: trope_bingo, F/M, trope: a fork in the road, trope: epistolary, trope: forbidden fruit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-12
Updated: 2016-11-24
Packaged: 2018-08-19 17:30:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8219263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NRGburst/pseuds/NRGburst
Summary: Because there are ways to shake inertia, even in space. Johanbeck, Complete.





	1. Collision

**Author's Note:**

> _An object in motion stays in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force._

The pretending was the worst part of it.

 

 

He’s almost positive Beth feels the same way. He can see the way her pupils dilate and cheeks flush when they talk or her hand grazes his by accident; the way her body language reflects his and their bodies gravitate closer during conversations before one or both of them hastily move back and look away.

 

As a biologist, he understands the processes involved; the hormones pumping into their systems trying to push along sexual reproduction. Humans are wired to crave the endorphins released by sex, the oxytoxin that creates emotional bonds. Physical attraction combined with established compatibility- he can identify the brain structures involved; quote whole sections of papers on exactly why he feels the way he does.

 

 

And yet they can’t bring this feedback loop to a close because they’re off-limits to each other until the mission is over.

 

 

It’s been gnawing at him but he’s disciplined and dedicated: he won’t jeopardize their mission or working relationship by jumping over the clearly defined lines, especially without an explicit indication of interest from her. And while his feelings are hardly healthy, given the close quarters and dangers of an extended space journey, they’re not entirely unexpected- she’s beautiful, smart, and unattached. Still, higher reasoning overrules baser instincts in almost all instances, and all those in the Space program strive to hold themselves to an impeccable code of conduct.

 

Not that it’s foolproof. But it’s not just infamous examples of NASA astronauts going AWOL after failed romances putting him off: a physician doesn’t sleep with his patients. Period.

 

On top of that, Commander Lewis had pulled the men aside and explicitly banned hitting on Johanssen. Orders on top of rules on top of common sense.

 

 

The only thing to do is to keep a firm lid on his feelings and keep their interactions friendly and professional until the mission is over.

 

 

Still, it’s impossible not to notice how much they like each other. They’re all close now that they’ve been working and living together for so long, but it pleases him immensely that she prefers his company even over Watney’s. Beth’s the most introverted of all of them and usually holes up in her quarters to unwind, but she also likes to plop down next to him with her laptop or a digital novel when he reads in the rec room. It’s worth the ache in his gut, sitting at a careful distance and yet close enough to smell her shampoo, chatting intermittently and reading or coding in companionable silence.

 

Catching the way she looks at him before she blushes and looks deliberately back to her screen also strengthens his resolve.

 

The message seems clear:  _I want you, too. But not yet._

 

 

He respects that. And if he only gets through a couple papers on nights when she’s more talkative, he’s happier for it anyway. He loves how her eyes light up when she describes the programs she’s creating, an artist in a mathematical medium that he can only marvel at. And he adores the telltale flush in her cheeks when she asks about more personal matters or opens up about herself; the way her nose crinkles when she’s sharing some story she finds embarrassing. Even thinking about her raises his pulse and has him calculating the time until he’ll have the chance to see her again.

 

 

 _Christopher Beck, you’ve got it bad,_ he mentally chastises himself.

 

 

But he can't help but compare it to courtships from the past couple centuries that were limited to polite conversation and lingering looks, complete with crewmate chaperones to quash any inappropriate behavior. Martinez and Watney especially delight in crashing “the nerd corner”, and it’s impossible to be annoyed with their hilarious pestering, even if he suspects they’re both getting a kick out of cockblocking (or more accurately talkblocking) them.

 

 

 

 

The journey home wasn’t the same.

 

 

 

 

They all struggled to process Watney’s loss. Beth curled into herself even harder; Martinez stopped cracking jokes and spent a lot of time in prayer, the scientists buried themselves in their work. They morosely divvied up the tasks that should have been his and dragged themselves through the motions a day at a time. When the sharpest edge of grief had eased, they slowly started to slip back towards their old patterns, although the lingering feeling of wrongness remained. Part of their team had been ripped out, and it was impossible to move on in the same ship he had occupied with them.

 

 

 

And then everything changed  _again_. Watney was alive.

 

 

And then suddenly  _they_  were the best bet not just to keep him alive, but to bring him home.

 

 

 

It's not even a question really, even if it adds more than a year and a half to the mission. And it’s great to feel energized and hopeful again, driven and focused instead of merely waiting out the remainder of the journey. Beth’s been tackling her new assignment with an unholy relish: hacking the _Hermes_  systems isn’t a chore –it’s  _fun._ And the scientists can continue working on their experiments, getting long-term data instead of extrapolating from a few months of results, and they’ve also made requests for materials to conduct new experiments with the bonus space time. The positives absolutely outweigh the drawbacks, even if they’re likely never going to be allowed back in space again.

 

 

 

But it was only supposed to be another month or so of this agonizing arms-length holding pattern before he was finally free to find out one way or another if Beth was interested in a relationship. Watney’s letter only confirms that he’s been as obvious as the moon. At least his professional conduct hasn’t suffered enough for Lewis to call him out, but he still feels exposed and more than a little ridiculous. Yet another lovesick astronaut, just when public interest in the Ares mission is at an all time high.

 

 

So Chris decides to search for a way to reduce the intensity of his feelings, although most of the advice he digs up online is not exactly applicable. The recommendations to refer her to another physician make him sigh heavily and keep scrolling. Neither can he change jobs, date more appropriate women (hah!) or develop a new social group over the additional nineteen months they’ll be on the  _Hermes_.

 

 

But he can try to create some emotional distance by socializing more with Martinez, Lewis and Vogel. And he can email back women, the way prisoners find romance and connection while locked up. (As analogies go, their situations are sadly not that unsimilar, and unlike Beth, some have made their interest in him abundantly clear.) The thought of purposely spending less time with Beth hurts, but with so much additional mission time, it might be for the best.

 

 

Maybe this is the push he needs to accept that it’s just not meant to be.

 

 

First things first though: the  _Taiyeng Shen_  still has to make it to them. Or they’re all doomed.

 

 

Well, most of them.

 

 

 

And that, it turns out, is what changes everything.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

There’s a tentative knock on Chris’ door, and he looks up, surprised. The only time any of the crew would disturb him in his quarters is if they’re ill and in need of treatment.

 

“Come in!” he calls immediately.

  

 

Johanssen steps in and shuts the door behind her, and he takes one look at the way she’s hugging herself miserably and knows.

 

 

“…Lewis just told you.”

 

 

She gives him a stricken look. “You knew?!”

 

It’s hard to look her in the eye when she looks like he’s just betrayed her. “We  _all_  agreed. It was the only logical choice to make.”

 

She opens her mouth to snap at him but nothing comes out, and she tries to speak for another moment before she ends up pressing her hand to her mouth in anguish.

  

He crosses the room in a couple steps, pulling her close, and she buries her face in his chest and clings.

 

“Beth- it’s only the absolute worst-case contingency plan,” he says, holding her tight. “You know Martinez is an amazing pilot. And if it still can’t dock, Vogel and I have it covered- we will unpack that thing by hand if necessary. Lots of smart and talented people on the job. Including you on Sys-Op.”

  

She keeps her face hidden in his chest for a minute, forcing herself to control her breathing until she can finally speak, but the words still come out gravelly and bitter.

 

 

“…And if… it explodes like the  _Iris_?”

 

 

“Come on. You really think NASA will skip any inspections this time?” he asks lightly.

 

 

She shakes her head, but they both know that so many things could go wrong. So many things have already gone wrong.

 

 

She swallows thickly. “Lewis said if it was life critical we’d  _all_  die, not- ”

 

She chokes on the words and shakes her head.

 

 

“Well... I guess after that she figured out a way where we don’t all have to. One survivor is better than none, right?” he says coaxingly.

 

“How can you  _say_  that?” she demands, horrified.

 

He exhales and gives her a hapless look. “Come on, Beth. You have to know how I feel about you. Even if it wasn’t the only decent choice—which it is-- I’d… still choose you over me any day.”

 

 

Which is apparently a totally unacceptable reason, because she pushes him away.

 

 

“No, damn it! No!” She holds up her hand and shakes her head, refusing to be comforted until she’s explained why she’s acting so unreasonable.

 

“It’s not supposed to happen this way!" she protests. "We’ve done everything  _right_  and been so stupidly  _patient_ , just waiting and waiting… And if you have to  _die_  in two days, I can’t… I just… I need you to know-” Her breath hitches as she grips his sweatshirt in her hands, looking pleading into his eyes.

 

 

But he’s already choking up with stunned elation, and he smiles ruefully.

 

“… that I’m crazy about you,” he finishes for her, stroking her hair back. She nods and laughs with relief before she stretches up on her toes and kisses him.

 

 

His brain stops working for probably a solid minute. It’s as if every nerve in his body is firing with joyous triumph, hyperattuned to the taste and feel of her mouth against his and smell of her skin, how she’s arching her back under his hands and pressing herself against him, trying to get closer.

 

 

But when she breaks off the kiss and pulls off her hoodie, she bowls him over all over again.

 

 

“God, Beth,” he groans, staring. “We shouldn’t-“

 

 

She lifts her chin and inhales, firmly back in control of her emotions. “Fine. Tell me you don’t want me and I’ll go.”

 

 

He gives a humorless laugh. “I- Can’t. Do. That,” he admits. He arches a brow in frank admiration before he grins teasingly. “One little mutiny and now you can’t stop breaking rules?”

 

 

That gets a sly smile out of her, and she twitches her shoulders lightly. “Watney said Lewis ordered you all not to hit on me. But she never gave  _me_ any such orders.”

 

 

She smiles, pleased with herself, before she kisses him again and slides her hands up his back, rubbing herself against the now-obvious bulge in his groin.

 

 

“Help me stop thinking about it?” she whispers between kisses, and he searches the liquid yearning in her eyes before he caves with a groan, picking her up and carrying her to his bunk.

 

  

“Don’t have condoms, but you have an IUD and we don’t have any STDs,” he gasps between kisses, striving to ignore the nagging guilt over knowing her medical history.

 

  

“Perfect,” she pants, pulling his sweatshirt off impatiently. Any lingering reluctance shatters when she moans as their bodies first come into contact.

  

 

Consequences be damned. They're both consenting adults and he doesn't want to think anymore either.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Chris stirs reluctantly when his alarm goes off. It’s unusual- his body clock usually has him awake before it even goes off.

 

But he’s immediately aware of the warm body he’s spooned around, and he nuzzles Beth’s neck and inhales her scent greedily as he cuddles close, recalling exactly why he feels so damn good even if he’s also tired as hell. Last night had been incredible- kissing and talking and laughing and making love over and over until they’d both been too worn out to resist sleep any longer. It’s hard not to be humbled by the memory of how passionately they’d responded to each other, how intensely they’d connected after so many months of resisting. He wishes she hadn’t been so motivated by desperation, but he’s too grateful that she's finally here in his arms to regret it.

 

He just hopes that she feels the same way. There’s no going back now.

 

But it’s not like they can spend the morning in bed together discussing how they’re going to approach this. There are a thousand things that need to be done while transmission range is negligible and re-supply imminent: no days off for any of the crew until they’re well back en route to Mars. Which means he needs to haul his exhausted ass out of bed, wipe the jubilant smile off his face, and get down to the gym as if it were just a normal morning.

 

He shifts and sits up to turn off the alarm and Beth inhales and stiffens, disoriented for a moment before she turns.

 

“Hey you,” she mumbles, reaching for him with a sleepy smile, and his heart flips as he pulls her close. He’d been a little worried he would see regret in her eyes, but all he sees is trust and remembered pleasure.

 

“Morning,” he replies, and he relishes that first lazy kiss, wishing reality wasn’t such a pressing concern. “Sorry to wake you. I know how you like to sleep, and neither of us got much last night. I can reset the alarm for you, if you want.”

 

She frowns and her eyes crack open again. “You woke me up at-” she peers at the clock, “0600 but not for morning sex?”

 

He groans and kisses her again, striving to ignore his body’s eager response and how badly he wants to go along with it. “Ugh, I wish. But I usually head to the gym first thing. Lewis is going to notice if I don’t show, since she’s also in there early.”

 

She pouts a little, wrapping her leg around him possessively.

 

“Can’t you give yourself a doctor’s note?”

 

He chuckles. “Because that would be totally ethical.”

 

“Shut up, Beck,” she grumbles, shoving him half-heartedly. She sighs and tucks her head against his shoulder, worry shadowing her eyes again as she traces the lines of the muscles on his chest.

 

“Hey.” He strokes her hair back tenderly. “If everything goes according to plan, we’re all going to get a couple days off in a week or so. And then… I’m hoping you’re still game for morning sex...”

  

She has to smile. “Deal.”

 

He can tell she’s still dwelling on the grisly alternative anyway. “Beth. Try not to think about it. It's not likely we'll have to go through with it- she just didn’t want to spring it on you.”

 

She sighs and closes her eyes. “I  _know_. And I understand why Lewis wanted me to be mentally prepared. Why she asked me to re-enable Remote Override on the  _Hermes_. It’s just… we work so hard to get the odds of failure down to negligible. And yet somehow we seem to keep hitting that 0.01.”

 

He considers. “Well, if I remember my stats, that doesn’t make it any more likely that we’ll hit it this time.”

 

She sighs and grimaces. “The numbers and multiple back up plans always helped me feel in control, but... not this time.”

 

He gives her a squeeze, grateful that he can reinforce his words with physical comfort. “Well, spectacularly shitty luck led to some pretty awful consequences for one of our closest friends. But remember what you said about Murphy's Law when we were in training?"

 

She smiles and tilts her head, surprised and flattered. "Anecdotal Fallacy. You remember that?"

 

He chuckles. "You were so pissed about the simulations- it was kind of adorable."

 

"They were all so statistically improbable! They were really trying to see how we would do under stress, I know, but still. Assholes."

 

He gives her an expectant look, raising his brows and she rolls her eyes. "Okay, okay. I know. I’m psyching myself out."

 

"Well, a statistical anomaly of a storm set off a chain reaction of crap for us. And it’s only human to focus on the negative- loss aversion helps our species survive, most of the time. But... we're astronauts."

 

She quirks her lips and smiles. “And exploring space is needlessly dangerous. So we plan ahead meticulously and focus on the work… because it’s also pretty fucking cool."

 

"Which reminds me..." He looks at the clock again reluctantly and swings his legs off the bunk. “I really gotta go, or Lewis is going to get suspicious. Don’t want to find out what being keelhauled feels like.”

 

She yawns, grabbing her hoodie and panties back off the ground as he gets dressed. “And risk damaging our perfectly good hull? The Commander’s way too practical for that. She’ll just shove you out the airlock.”

 

He huffs a laugh and shakes his head, relieved that she seems to have relegated the worst-case scenario back to abstract. “Ah- true.”

 

Before he goes, he looks back to where she's sitting on his bed, dressed only in her hoodie and hugging her knees, her eyes thoughtful and expression as calmly introspective as usual. It  _sucks_  to have to leave her, even if he knows it’ll probably suck more to be officially reprimanded.

 

 

“I’m not sorry,” he declares softly. Her eyes meet his before she smiles, cheeks flushing.

 

 

"Chris? Wait-"

 

 

She hops out of bed, quickly running over. 

 

 

The kiss she gives him eases the ache in his gut, as does her own declaration.

 

 

“Neither am I.”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Totally late to the party as usual, but I needed to figure out how and when Beck and Johanssen went from crewmates to lovers and this catalyst made the most sense to me? Feedback is most welcome!


	2. Friction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because sometimes our own biology creates conflict.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m assuming the Hermes looks like the one in the movie and crew quarters are in the two blocks of the centripetal loop we were never given a clear view of. I’m also assuming that it’s Vogel/Beck/Johanssen in one and Martinez/Watney/Lewis in the other- splitting the crew up for redundancy in case one block is compromised for any reason. I think that works with the descriptions we get from the book too, so I’m running with it.

 

 

The pretending becomes even harder.

 

 

 

 

Not that they work in constant proximity, but the size of the ship and familiarity with their crewmates present multiple challenges to keeping things secret.

 

It might be easier if he wasn’t feeling so euphoric. It’s distracting, and as he discovers, hard to hide without conscious effort.

 

 

It’s usually just him and Lewis first thing in the gym. (Vogel had adjusted his schedule an hour later so Martinez wouldn’t be alone in the gym after they left Mars.) They work out in relative silence- both of them have their media players on and headphones in and they rotate off the different machines and weight training area by indicating whichever they intend to use next with gestures.

 

 

He doesn’t even realize he’s smiling- he’s just thinking about Beth and trying to decide if it will be obvious if he brings her her morning coffee when Lewis gives him a knowing smile.

 

“Looking forward to your video call later?”

 

He blinks and turns down the volume on his headphones. “Sorry?”

 

“You’re smiling.”

 

“Oh! Yeah, of course.” _Shit._ “My sister’s doing the honors. Will be nice to talk in almost real time.” That part is honest, at least.

 

 

She smiles. “I know. Although I guess we have it easier than submarine crews in a lot of ways: we had communication blackouts while on classified missions, so we’d have no civilian contact until we could call from port. Plus there won’t even be a time difference despite the actual distance.”

 

There’s a wistfulness there that she can’t quite hide, but Chris understands her need to try to stay positive. “Technology and good ol’ CST. Vogel says his wife made the trip to Houston to take advantage of it.”

 

 

“Yeah? We’ll have to remind him to tell her try some crawfish or fried shrimp tails. Oooh, and a queso from Torchy’s! Chicken and waffles. Ugh.”

 

 

He laughs. “Okay, the last is practically a heart attack on a plate.”

 

 

“We only live once, Doctor Beck,” she says teasingly.

 

 

He grins and ducks his head. “Ahhh, I have to say it’s on my list once we get back too. That and you ever have the Alfredo from Carrabba’s?”

 

 

She groans. “Have I ever! I swear, Houston has the most amazing restaurants…”

 

 

They talk food and he heaves a mental sigh of relief that he’d managed to recover from being so stupidly careless.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

He’s not as lucky with Vogel, but that’s almost a relief.

 

 

They’re both standing at the espresso machine in the Rec when Vogel speaks up.

 

 

“So Johanssen was upset by the contingency plan?”

 

 

Chris strives to remain casual, keeping his eyes on his empty cup as he scrambles to think. If Vogel had heard even that first outburst… “Yeah, it threw her for a loop. She just needed to get the probability in perspective, though.”

 

 

Vogel nods, pursing his lips. “Ah. That is good. I ah, was surprised to hear you… ‘comforting’ her last night.”

 

 

Chris cringes and exhales, glancing around quickly. Lewis and Martinez are laughing over something at the table several meters away, and Beth hasn’t arrived yet.

 

 

“Ah- Sorry about that,” he says quietly.

 

 

Vogel tilts his head and shrugs lightly. “No matter. You’ve always been a quiet neighbor and I put on my headphones when I realized. And I am very happy both of you are… feeling better. But perhaps her quarters will be more discreet if you wish to ‘comfort’ her again.”

 

 

Chris nods, feeling awkward. “Thanks. Again- sorry.”

 

 

Vogel smiles dismissively and takes his coffee cup back to his table.

 

 

Chris is glad he’s got an excuse to face away from the Rec for another couple minutes while he takes his turn at the machine though.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

Beth has mostly rationalized letting her feelings get the better of her. After all, if everything goes as planned, their working relationship shouldn’t really be impacted: she works mostly with Martinez and Lewis doing a mix of maintenance and comms while Chris primarily does research in the Bio lab.

 

 

She very deliberately avoids thinking about how much worse it will feel if the re-supply fails. Storing grief for future use won’t help anybody, and the only thing she can control is whether she does her job perfectly.

 

 

She’d mentally dismissed one role he performed for all of them, mostly because she’d never needed much medical care beyond the occasional bandage and tube of antibiotic cream. _Hermes’_ centripetal gravity and state-of-the-art air filtration system greatly reduced the development of most of the ailments that usually afflict astronauts, from motion sickness to infection. There were no new viruses or half-cooked foods to get them sick and they all consumed balanced diets and exercised diligently. Sure, he performed weekly med/psych evals, but they were routine ‘still healthy’ checkmarks at this point and just a couple hours a week.

 

 

 

 

So she’s horrified to realize Chris Beck is both cause and cure for a sudden and pressing medical problem.

 

 

 

 

The timing couldn’t be worse. She has so much to coordinate: they all have video calls that she’ll have to patch through various satellites; they’ve just turned off _Hermes’_ centripetal rotation engine and she has multiple systems checks to run because of that; she’s uploading and downloading as much as she can while they have practically unlimited bandwidth; CAPCOM keeps sending updates and _for fucks sake._

 

 

 

 

She has a UTI.

 

 

 

She’s had them before, which is why she knows exactly what’s wrong, but _god._

 

It’s going to be awkward as hell, and things between them are already so emotionally charged. She’d basically taken a sledgehammer to all the carefully maintained barriers between them last night and she feels oddly exposed and breathlessly exhilarated all at once. What she wants is the time and space to parse it all properly, but for now there are far more important priorities.

 

 

And she needs treatment ASAP: UTIs can lead to serious kidney infections and microgravity exacerbates infections of any kind.

 

 

She hadn’t been counting on this kind of burning biological retribution for breaking the rules once.

 

 

 

Well… more than once.

 

 

 

The memory of how utterly shameless she’d been makes her cheeks flush while she doggedly queues downloads before running the initial systems check. She feels guilty as hell. Part of why she was chosen for the Ares 3 mission was because she could do her job despite extreme physical discomfort, and she’d basically brought this on herself.

 

 

But Lewis is talking to her husband, Martinez is inspecting the rotational engine, and she doesn’t actually need to sit here while the computer processes. That should give her the minutes she’ll need to discreetly zip down to the Bio lab.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Chris sips another coffee while he does the final check on Watney’s zero-g plant growth experiment data. In light of Watney’s absence, NASA has suggested ending the current experiment to free up the crew, but Beck doesn’t mind keeping it up. Plus having something both useful and familiar to do once back on the _Hermes_ might aid with Watney’s rehabilitation. Dr. Shields will probably give him an idea of what to read up on during the conference later, but he makes a mental note to ask. He has ten months to prep, and he’d rather be over-prepared than under.

 

 

A box pops up on the screen, indicating that the analysis of the blood he’d drawn from himself that morning was complete, and he taps it open for a quick look. He scans the graphs and swipes a few times before he stops short, blinking with consternation.

 

 

 

He’d expected a slightly higher cortisol reading from the lack of sleep, but his cortisol and testosterone levels are _way_ over his usual average and his serotonin is dramatically depressed. If Beth’s levels are also out of whack when he does her weekly check, it shouldn’t be hard for the trained doctors at JSC to surmise why two of the crew have developed concurrent spikes across their hormonal levels.

 

_Crap._

 

 

Even if they manage to hide the truth from most of their crewmates, their physiology doesn’t lie. He’s not comfortable with asking her to help fudge the data either, even if the results are empirical evidence of the abrupt change between the two of them. After all, it’s a single data set. Elevated hormone levels can be due to many different factors, and it should be easy enough to explain the cortisol levels anyway: their lives depend on this re-supply and they’re all juggling heavy schedules.

 

 

It’s actually fascinating, to see what he’s feeling reflected so plainly onscreen. He almost wishes he could measure his neurotransmitter levels- his brain is probably awash in record levels of dopamine and vasopressin.

 

 

“Doctor Beck?”

 

 

Chris turns and smiles automatically, feeling his heart rate jump at the sight of her. But Beth looks harried and she’s still wearing her Sys-Op headset: she’s supposed to be on the Bridge.

 

“What’s wrong?” he asks, concerned. She doesn’t look as miserable as she had last night, at least.

 

 

She bites her lip and winces. “So. This is mortifying but- I think I need some antibiotics.”

 

 

His eyes widen and he shifts from worried lover to clinical empathy immediately. “What are your symptoms? When did they start?”

 

 

She eyes him with a kind of awed fascination before she inhales and sheepishly confesses.

 

 

“It… hurts when I pee. Which sucks because I feel the urge every few minutes and I really shouldn’t be leaving my station at all today. I’m pretty sure I have a UTI.”

 

 

He closes his eyes as guilt hits him like a sucker punch. “…And I gave it to you. Shit.” 

 

 

He gives her the biomonitor to put on while he keys up her chart and drug tables before he unbuckles the harness holding him to the couch and pushes over to the storage containers housing the _Hermes’_ pharmacy. “I’m… really sorry, Beth. I should have thought of it.”

 

 

She cringes and waves her hand slightly. “No _, I_ should have. It’s been years since I’ve had one, and everything was so… I was too caught up to leave the room to pee. Just me being stupid.”

 

 

He quickly doses pills from a container into a bag, chagrined. “Well, you weren’t the only one. It’s my job to look out for your health and anticipate problems- I didn’t.”

 

 

It’s a relief to see that her temperature is still normal, but he can’t help but worry that what he’s handing her isn’t a cure. “These are analgesic painkillers. Two at a time, repeat every four hours as necessary. You should feel some relief twenty minutes after taking them, so get them down ASAP. I can only get you the antibiotics after I get a urine sample- I have to know which bacteria are causing the infection before I prescribe anything.”

 

He hesitates, cringing inwardly. “If the need to urinate is really urgent, the EVA suit diapers-“

 

 

“Oh my god!” She covers her face. “I think I’ll be okay just queueing tasks and running for the toilet until the meds work. But I’ll keep it in mind just in case.”

 

 

He nods, scrubbing his hand awkwardly over the back of his neck as she removes the biomonitor. Talk about a firsthand lesson in why doctor/patient relationships are forbidden. But she’s his patient first and foremost, so he keeps going.

 

“Okay. Please drop off the sample as soon as you can. The zero-g kits are in every washroom but I have a videoconference in about twenty minutes with JSC Med. So if I’m not here, leave it in the sample case and I’ll analyze it and bring you the antibiotics as soon as I can.”

 

 

She nods and then her eyes widen and she holds a finger up to ask for silence before she taps her mic on and pushes back towards the door. “Copy that, Houston. Give us a couple minutes to get the diagnostic running and I’ll report back. Hermes over.”

 

 

He sighs as he watches her disappear towards the reactor room before he stows the medication again and mentally kicks himself.

 

 

_Good job, Beck. A+_

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

As soon as the conference finishes, he rushes back to the Lab, already worried about letting the infection fester in her body for another hour. But her sample is waiting, diagnosis takes only a couple minutes, and he manages to catch Beth in the corridor while she’s on her way to the Bridge.

 

 

“Johanssen!”

 

 

He holds up a bag of pills but he offers her a pumpkin seed bar first.

 

 

“You need to eat something before taking these. One now, then after every meal and before bed, and I’ll re-evaluate in the morning to make sure they’re working. How’s the pain? Any fever?”

 

 

She shakes her head, glancing up the corridor towards the Bridge and keeping her voice low. “I’m okay- the painkillers helped a lot. But thanks- can you-?”

 

 

Chris helps take out a pill and then unvelcroes his pocket to take out a pouch of water while she quickly unwraps the bar and takes a bite.

 

 

She gives him an exasperated look when he watches anxiously while she chews.

 

“Stop looking so doomsday serious! You’re going to make me laugh!” she complains, covering her mouth.

 

 

“Sorry.” He smiles apologetically. “UTIs can lead to-”

 

 

“-kidney infections, like Fred Haise had on Apollo 13 _._ I get it. But I’m not dehydrated, feverish or throwing up. And I’ve been to this annoying rodeo before, so I went to get treatment right away. I know my own body, Chris. Don’t beat yourself up, okay?”

 

 

She holds out her hands for the pill and water and he relaxes marginally after she swallows it.

 

 

“Fine. But it’s my job to keep an eye on your health, and your immune system functions better in gravity. So I’m going to keep a close eye on this, okay? And… no sex until I’m sure you’re in the clear, so tell that prick to keep his bacteria laden parts to himself.”

 

 

She laughs and slips the pills into her flightsuit pocket. “Okay, Doc. Thanks.”

 

 

She reaches out to grab a handhold to propel herself and pauses, looking shyly over her shoulder. “Making out should be okay though, right?”

 

 

_God, how is she so perfect?_

 

 

“…Yeah. Yeah, that should be fine.”

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Chris keeps a careful distance from her all day, mindful about keeping his gaze from lingering and she’s just as deliberately poker faced.

 

 

He thinks they’re doing admirably well at playing it cool, especially with the nagging worry about her UTI in the back of his mind. It helps that other tasks demand their attention: Beth spends even mealtimes on the Bridge continuing to Sys-Op and study Vogel’s workspace, and when he isn’t planning and prepping tomorrow’s possible EVA, he’s doing PR tasks that Watney would have been responsible for.

 

 

There’s also the bright spot of talking to Amy and just being her brother for five minutes. She’d even managed to get him choked up in her inimitable way: _“You’ve never not been part of my life, you know? So just… be careful. It’ll be a long time before I can take you for granted again.”_

 

 

Everybody’s exhausted after the frenetic day. The view of Earth, beautiful and blue, growing in the Bridge windows only reminds them that they’ve chosen not to go home yet, and transit time around their world will be brief. So he doesn’t feel totally obvious when he says he’s going to bed early a few minutes after Beth makes her departure back to her room, hurrying through his evening hygiene routine before quietly knocking on her door.

 

 

“Come in!” she calls.

 

 

He can’t help grinning when Beth immediately sets aside her laptop and propels herself toward him. And god, how good it feels to catch hold of her and kiss her like he’s been aching to all day. The zero-g just adds to the giddy feeling, and they both laugh when they bump into her door and then the ceiling.

 

 

“God, this is worse than before. I couldn’t stop thinking about you all day,” she complains between kisses.

 

 

“Me neither. I had to remind myself not to stare about fifty times. How are you feeling?”

 

 

She scowls. “Seriously, Beck? Isn’t medical crap on the list of things you should never talk about on a date?”

 

 

He grins, delighted. “Is this a date, then?”

 

 

She pretends to consider. “Well- I suppose you brought me food and drink earlier, but… you didn’t actually _pay_ for it, so-”

 

 

He laughs. “You’re a tough sell, Johanssen.”

 

 

She smiles wickedly and links her arms securely around his neck before she kisses him again, pushing gently off the ceiling with a couple fingers so they float slowly towards her bunk. “The kissing is pretty dreamy, though. And you brushed your teeth, so you’re extra minty fresh and delicious. Hmm, I might have to reconsider…”

 

 

He helps adjust their position so that her back hits the mattress and then he grabs hold of the bunk to anchor them. Even cooperating, it isn’t easy to squeeze under the elasticized sleeping sheet meant for use in zero-g, and they end up having to leave the opening half unzipped. Still, it keeps them in place and trapped cozily together, which is all they need.

 

 

Sighing with satisfaction, Beth cuddles up against him. “So I never did this with a boy in high school, but I bet I can still figure out how to get to third base…”

 

 

He can’t help hesitating at that, and she sighs, exasperated. “ _I’m fine._ The pain is gone, and I’m taking my medication as directed, okay? My _real_ problem is that my bossy doctor won’t let me have sex just when I’m horny and in need of distraction…”

 

 

His lips twitch. “That pedantic jerk. How dare he prioritize your health.”

 

 

“Tell me about it. We’re missing the chance to do it in zero-g.”

 

 

He snorts with laughter. “You know how often I get that question in emails? Can’t believe NASA still refuses to send married couples up to SpaceX.”

 

 

“See? We could be doing it for science. Such squandered opportunity.”

 

 

He sobers- she’s only half joking. “…Beth.”

 

 

She swallows and blinks hard. “I know. I’m trying not to. But I told my Dad I’d come home no matter what and… Just kiss me, okay?”

 

 

He does, and if it quickly turns from comfort into a mutual expression of desire, it does the trick anyway.

 

 

 

 

After, when they’re both breathless and sweaty and sated, laughing about humping with their pants on like desperate teenagers, he presses another kiss to her shoulder and considers.

 

 

“You know, we’ll have to turn off centripetal rotation before we get Watney, too.”

 

 

She eyes him speculatively. “Huh. True.” Her eyes sparkle with wicked promise and she smiles as she turns to trace his ‘14’ tattoo. “Guess we could put it on the Bucket List after ‘Walking on Mars’.”

 

 

He’s struck with adoration all over again as he looks at her, so playful and relaxed, the matching number 15 on her shoulder. “Have I ever told you how amazing you are?”

 

 

She laughs, but he can tell by the way she lowers her eyes and flushes that the words affect her more than she’d like to admit.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The re-supply goes without a hitch. Chris doesn’t even need to step out of the airlock, and Beth allows herself a brief moment to close her eyes and breathe out after she confirms that even the seal is a perfect fit.

 

 

 

 

They’re all going to be okay.

 

 

 

 

Dinner that night is jubilant. JPL has generously sent two packages of wine in the supplies, and they all agree to open one now and save the other for after they get Watney. So they’re all flush with a little more than just success and hope, and she’s not the only one who is blinking hard after Lewis gives a short speech to conclude the meal.

 

 

They’re still in real-time range for IP calls, so she isn’t surprised that the crew heads back to quarters straight after dinner.

 

 

Beth stays in the Rec though, sitting cross-legged in her usual spot on the sofa as the residual buzz wears off, watching Earth retreat into the distance.

 

 

It’s sobering: it’ll be nineteen months before they’ll see home so clearly again. They’re moving at such velocity that by the end of the week their planet will appear little larger than the moon, and eventually its orbit will bring it out of their rearview completely.

 

 

When they’d first decided to rescue Watney, she’d just assumed it would be another nineteen months of maintaining the ship and crew relationships to and from Mars with one big mission in the middle. She’d told herself that if that long-frustrated spark fizzled between her and Chris they would still be close friends, and that was enough.

 

 

And then she’d basically Trojan horsed that well-established, fully functional program.

 

 

 

Being with him gives the next nineteen months uncharted emotional territory and the stakes for everything are always higher in space: screwing this up might mean strained relations between the whole crew for months, even if it’s beyond thrilling to finally be his lover.

 

 

She ponders pros and cons and hypotheticals for a few minutes, but she’s not surprised when she sees Chris slide down the ladder.

 

 

He approaches, head tilted curiously before he sits at his usual careful distance from her.

 

 

“You didn’t have anyone to call?”

 

 

She shrugs and looks away. “It’ll be easier for my mom if I email. Someone always ends up crying if we talk. I’m not good with… emotional stuff.”

 

 

He nods, waiting. And her heart aches a little: he knows her so goddamn well. So she just blurts instead of continuing to agonize over it in her head.

 

 

“We can do this, right? Without screwing up? I feel like an asshole going behind Lewis’ back when she trusts us so much.”

 

 

He raises his brows and considers for a long moment before he replies. “Honestly? I think we’re doing well at keeping things neutral around the others so far, even though I’m feeling… _everything_ for you right now. We both know how important the mission is, how we need to maintain good relationships with a ship and crew this size. It’s not like either of us to be thoughtless or careless.”

 

 

She nods and he continues. “But let’s evaluate: do you think we’ll favor each other unfairly or allow our feelings for each other to adversely affect anything? Have we done it already?”

 

 

She braces her head on her hand as she ponders. It’s comforting somehow to sit next to him like they’ve done for months. “I don’t think so? But I doubt I’m judging with a hundred percent objectivity. I mean, that UTI thing was so awkward but you kind of…switched gears to doctor mode and then…” She closes her eyes and laughs self-deprecatingly, “…it was _just as bad_ as talking to any other doctor about needing help with your private parts.”

 

 

He chuckles along with her. “We’re trained to just treat the patient. Seriously. I mean, I was embarrassed too, but that was mostly because I failed the ‘Do no harm’ part of my oaths. On top of being reminded that I violated doctor/patient ethics…”

 

 

She frowns when he shrugs uncomfortably. “Well- what are the possible consequences for that?”

 

 

He gives her a wry look. “Nothing if we keep things secret.”

 

 

She raises her brows skeptically. “Okay, but home free is nineteen months away. Lewis is smart, and she knows us both really well.”

 

 

He inhales and tries to think about it objectively. “Consequences will probably depend on if our relationship actually causes a strain on the mission. Which, again, is unlikely if we keep things strictly under wraps. So I would say that is our top priority.”

 

 

She eyes him and nods. He avoided answering the question, which probably means the worst-case scenario is pretty bad. But she agrees with his assessment, which is the part they need to focus on. “Right. So do we need to do anything different? I mean, Lewis and Martinez are never in our section anyway and Vogel already knows.”

 

She flushes despite herself. “…I talked to him yesterday because I felt bad about…disturbing him, and he was pretty blasé about it. Said if we were quiet, it was none of his business how we spend our private time.”

 

 

Chris raises his brows and smiles wryly. “Yeah, that’s basically what he said to me, too. So…sex only in your room? And…we take hygiene precautions until our microbiomes sync up so this is hopefully your last UTI? I’ll have to notify Lewis if you have any recurring medical issue.”

 

 

Beth feels her face heat again but she ignores it. “Agreed. And we should probably hang out here as much as we used to. If we keep sneaking off early together, everyone’s going to notice. But until the transmission lag gets noticeable we might have some leeway there.”

 

She looks around the quiet room and huffs a laugh. “This is so normal but so weird at the same time! Why did I think this was a good idea?”

 

 

He eyes her and smiles knowingly. “So we can’t distract each other with the physical part. Plus the view is pretty amazing tonight.”

 

 

She sighs and rubs her forehead. “See? You really _get_ me. It’s scary- it shouldn’t be this easy.”

 

 

He bursts out laughing at that. “We’re positing solves and you think this is _easy_?”

 

 

She shoves his arm, although she can’t help grinning. “You know what I mean! The you-and-me part, not the intersection of you-and-me with everything else. Although I made the brilliant move of sleeping with my best friend. Who the hell am I supposed to complain to now if he pisses me off?”

 

 

He leans back his head earnestly. “You’d better tell me right away if I’m pissing you off.”

 

 

She inhales and searches his eyes, hugging her knees. “Same. The secondary priority has to be that we keep _us_ working. No matter what.”

 

 

He nods, frowning slightly. “We’ve always respected each other. I don’t think that’s going to change, even if… _us_ shifts.”

 

 

She lowers her eyes. “Couples fight about stuff that friends don’t. The boundaries are different.”

 

 

He gives her a wry look and gestures restlessly. “So we talk about them and figure it out. They made damn sure we could cooperate and resolve problems before they shot us up here, right? And honestly? …The you-and-me part is just as important as the mission to me.”

 

 

She has to look away at the rush of emotion his words invoke before she blinks and smiles shakily. “Yeah. I totally agree.”

 

 

They both fall silent, staring contemplatively out the windows for a minute.

 

 

“I’m really glad we’re in this together,” she admits softly.

 

 

The way he looks at her makes her nose and eyes sting all over again.

 

“Yeah, me too.”

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

At first, it’s just an observation Chris makes: Martinez keeps yawning during his physical.

 

 

“Rough night?”

 

 

“Ah- just up late talking with Marissa. It’s like being in high school again, you know? We’d talk until one of us fell asleep- or her mom busted in and took away her phone.” He laughs. “Those were good times. I think she still hates me for corrupting her little angel, if you know what I mean.”

 

 

He winks and Chris snorts with laughter. “You’re lucky you made it the alter, man.”

 

 

“I know, right?”

 

 

But he still laughs with relief when he sees Martinez’s blood analysis later.

 

 

 

 _Biology to the rescue_.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

They’re all stoked when Lewis gives them two days off earlier than expected. They’ve earned it, and it’ll be nice to sleep in with Beth in the morning.

 

 

But he needs to tell her a couple things first.

 

 

“So we _might_ have a problem. But I think it’s going to be okay as a one-off, and we can probably avoid setting it off in future by not sleeping together the night before our physicals.”

 

 

She gives him a puzzled look, so he grabs his tablet off the floor next to the bunk and pulls up his workspace to explain.

 

“I analyze our blood every week. Have to track everything so I can tell right away if there’s a potential problem. And this here… is me.”

 

He tabs over to the hormone graphs. “This yellow block is cortisol, this one is serotonin and the light blue over here is testosterone. And now this… is this week compared to the past four.”

 

 

Her eyes widen when she sees the dramatic difference in the overlay. “Oh wow. I’m guessing that’s a big red flag?”

 

 

He tilts his head, trying to explain with proper clinical detachment. “There are a lot of factors influencing hormone production. Circadian rhythms, diet, activity levels, etc. Cortisol is produced in response to stress, serotonin is influenced by mood and light exposure and astronaut supplements are designed to increase testosterone production to prevent osteoporosis. But concurrent spikes in these specific hormones? Yeah, this poor guy _probably_ just entered an intense new relationship. Although he could just be overworked and doing strenuous physical labor.”

 

 

She smiles, oddly touched. “Your hormones have no chill?”

 

 

He shakes his head and smiles. “My endocrine system, yeah. I’ve read the research, but it’s another thing to see the data up close and personal.”

 

 

She glances at him and he can’t quite meet her gaze. She knows him well enough to understand when he’s trying to say something without being too pushy or obvious.

 

 

“Mmm. Are my readings the same?”

 

 

“Well- not exactly since you’re female and we didn’t have sex a bunch of times the night before, but…” He brings up her graphs next to his and his voice goes kind of gruff. “By odd coincidence, you also exhibited unusually low serotonin and elevated androgen and cortisol levels this week.”

 

 

She tilts her head, puzzled. “I don’t get it. Shouldn’t getting each other off be _relieving_ stress?”

 

 

He doesn’t answer for a moment. “Well, the current hypothesis is that it’s not sex drive causing the higher cortisol levels. People can have sex without getting their feelings involved.”

 

 

She stills and touches the tablet gently as understanding dawns. “…But this is what falling in love looks like.”

 

 

He swallows and nods, suddenly indescribably nervous.

 

 

Beth inhales jaggedly as her eyes fill. “Chris Beck, you are the nerdiest romantic ever. And I love it.” She turns and buries her nose in his chest. “ I love you.”

 

 

He closes his eyes at the shaft of emotion he feels, holding her tight. He was pretty sure but it’s so, so good to actually hear her say the words. “…God, Beth, I love you, too.”

 

 

She smiles tremulously and pulls him down to kiss her, although her eyes widen and she stiffens with alarm before their lips touch.

 

“Wait, why aren’t you worried? Won’t JSC Med notice?” she demands.

 

“I was,” he admits ruefully. “Until I realized how much sex the rest of the crew has been having.”

 

 

Her mouth falls open and she recoils from him with shock. “Wh-at?!”

 

 

He has to laugh. “Mind out of the gutter, Johanssen! Just ‘cause you barged into my room and seduced me-“

 

“You’re never going to let me forget that, are you?”

 

“-doesn’t mean our crewmates have also turned into reckless rulebreakers. We’ve been in easy transmission distance of their partners for about a week. Practically no time lag. You know nobody has ever studied the effects of phone sex on hormone levels? Which is funny, because in some of the studies, they used a picture of the loved one to _trigger_ the hormonal response.”

 

 

She covers her face and laughs. “Oh my god! Okay, now I don’t feel so guilty about finally getting laid.”

 

 

He raises his brows teasingly and grins. “Basic biological drive. Makes a nice pattern for us to blend into, at any rate. Which reminds me…”

 

 

Her breath hitches and pupils dilate with anticipation and he can’t help grinning, even as he tries to act nonchalant.

 

“You’re infection free and cleared for sex again. If, you know, there’s someone you want to do that with.”

 

 

 

She doesn't say anything this time, but her enthusiastic response still tells him all he needs to know.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe I shouldn’t have based the titles on physics because this chap was all bio but hey, we’re all nerds here, right? 
> 
> Researching this stuff was actually really interesting. If you want to look deeper into it, Helen Fisher's papers and talks on the intersection between love and biology are a great place to start. (But feel free to tell me if you think I’ve interpreted the science wrong- I’m happy to edit.) 
> 
>  
> 
> Is NRG actually going to finish a multichap? STAY TUNED TO FIND OUT.


	3. Coming To Rest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because “The Icarus Maneuver” would have been way more accurate. (And the pretending comes to an end.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I’m detail oriented and I like to fill in plot holes, and since Andy Weir one-two-skipped a few over this one, I naturally had to take a closer look. [Here](http://galactanet.com/martian/hermes.mp4) is the Rich Purnell maneuver according to Weir’s calculations. If you can spot the ginormous problem, you’ll understand why I’m wondering why the heck he didn’t flesh this out for more nail biting drama? (And why I can’t resist trying to write out the solve myself.) Plus I’m stealing the serial email idea from [this amazing fic](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5846221/chapters/13474732) because signposting the passage of time and multiple POV is for winners. (And Trope Bingo.)

 

“Is this really the _Hermes’_ flight path? _This_ is the Rich Purnell maneuver?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Oh geez. Wouldn’t the Icarus maneuver have been more apt? I had no idea.”

 

Mitch looks down grimly and Venkat presses his lips together before he looks steadily back at Bruce on the screen. “Purnell usually does mission design for unmanned spacecraft. I’ve already got all of Goddard, Marshall and Glenn working on it, plus the ESA and JASA have volunteered their assistance. It’s true: the _Hermes_ will be well within NASA’s red zone for manned missions for several months. But that zone was established before we had today’s radiation solutions. We simply need to _ensure_ the ship and crew will be able to survive this. And… that means everything they need also has to be on the _Taiyeng Shen_.”

 

Bruce blanches. “You’ve got to be kidding me! We’ve got only twenty-four more days to build this one! Even just provisions and maintenance supplies-”

 

“I know, Bruce, but all you need to do is build the probe, pack it, and get the fuel calculations down- ESA has volunteered supplies and staff assistance with probe assembly and JASA is already working on the heat shielding components.”

  

Bruce rubs at his eyes and relaxes slightly. “That… will actually help immensely. Wow. Do you have any numbers on additional mass?”

  

Venkat takes a deep breath and glances at his tablet. “So far, only about 80kg. The _Hermes_ is built to withstand tremendous amounts of cosmic radiation, and she’ll have plenty of solar power to increase magnetic field output. The real problem is how light converts to heat- she’ll be getting hit with four times as much light as she was designed for. So JASA is casting ceramic shades for the most vulnerable components, and the _Hermes_ can spin so the hull doesn’t heat too much before it can cool on the dark side.”

  

Bruce blinks with surprise. “Ceramics? Will they be able to take the launch?”

  

Venkat nods emphatically. “These are very tough- used on both MESSENGER and the BepiColumbo MPO/MMO Mercury probes. After Annie broke the _Taiyeng Shen_ news to the media, the other space agencies also wanted to show their support, especially the ESA- Vogel’s one of theirs. Really, the whole world wants to bring Watney home. That means keeping the _Hermes_ and her crew safe.”

 

 

They’re all silent for a moment.

 

 

The sun-facing surface of Mercury broils at 700 K despite its negligible atmosphere. _Hermes_ holds a very human crew in a bubble of air, and their trajectory will bring them closer to the Sun than even that scorched planet for months.

 

 

But their job now is to come up with solutions.

 

 

“Right. Get me a list of specs and keep me updated. We’ll figure this out.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

From: Amy Beck at gmail dot com  
To: Christopher Beck, Flight Surgeon, Ares 3  
Date: August 2, 2036, 2:15 PM  
Subject: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

 

Took Mom and Dad out for brunch at M&M Bistro today where they repeatedly bemoaned the fact that you will have three birthdays in space, you self-sacrificing idiot/genius. They hardly fought about politics at all what with worrying about you roasting to death; it was great.

So hard to shop for you now that I can’t just buy you some shiny new outdoor gear. Let me know if we can send you anything to make your life up there a little more fun- music, books, whatever. Or if you want me to buy you a campstove or carabiners to set aside for your return, I can do that too! In the meantime, I hope you enjoy what we sent up.

Anyway, here’s the chocolate ganache cake we consumed in your honor and it was as sinfully delicious as it looks. Yes, that is Irish coffee with it because it was brunch and _we did it right._

LOVE YOU,

 

Amy

[betterthansexchocolatecake.jpg]

 

\---

 

From: Christopher Beck, Flight Surgeon, Ares 37  
To: Amy Beck at gmail dot com  
Date: August 2, 2036, 8:15 PM  
Subject: Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

 

A little sister will be fun, they said. Look at how sweet she is, they said.

I had a meatballs and broccoli pack, re-hydrated mashed potatoes and a shrink-wrapped brownie with _Tang_ tonight. Seriously, sis, low blow. 

But hey, Mission Control sang me happy birthday, we're chasing Venus, we’ll be flying by Mercury and I’ve already walked on Mars, so I guess on the cosmic scale of things _I’m still winning_. :DDDD

My crewmates have been pranking me all day too, so I “won’t forget how old I’ve become.”

Imagine me kinda groggy while working out first thing, only to realize that all the songs on my media player had been renamed things like 3.7 and 373.7. The Commander scheduled everything to start or finish at :37 today (and I didn’t even notice until halfway through morning briefing because NASA does the by the minute stuff all the time), and Martinez was so proud at his physical because _his urine sample_ had the barcode 0003737. They plastered the number 37 on everything- email headers, meal selections, the toilet lid and even airlock three magically got a number 7 added to it today. I don’t know how they did it all without me noticing- the ship’s not that big! 

The real chocolate was awesome too- thanks a million.

Actually, could you send me some catalogs? I forgot to subscribe with this email and I’d love to see what new stuff Patagonia, Arc’teryx and Big Agnes have come up with. I might need a bigger tent and sleeping bag once I’m back. 

Gotta go- love you,

 

Chris

 

\---

 

From: Amy Beck at gmail dot com  
To: Christopher Beck, Flight Surgeon, Ares 3  
Date: August 3, 2036, 12:20 PM  
Subject: Re: Re: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

 

Not winning if you end up dead, brainiac. I don’t get why you guys are flying by The Actual Sun when Mars is in the opposite direction?  

LOL good to know astronauts can be awesome and gross at the same time! OMG do you need some prank ideas for the next birthday? Let me help PLEEEEASE  

Also why the hell will you need a bigger tent and sleeping bag? You didn’t look like you’d gained weight? Is it a space bed thing?

 

[patagoniasummer36.pdf, arcteryxfallwinter2036, marmotfw2036.pdf, bigagnes2036.pdf]

  

\---

 

From: Christopher Beck, Flight Surgeon, Ares 3  
To: Carina Chau, Flight Surgeon, NASA-JSC  
CC: Irene Shields, Flight Psychologist, NASA-JSC  
Date: August 8, 2036, 2:17 PM  
Subject: Re: EHR analyses

 

Doctors, 

Crewman Johanssen reported no difficulties with depressive and/or obsessive thoughts or behaviors, and reports “typical” stress for “an extended mission with a stranded crewmate, engineering team down by one and extreme hardware challenges.”

Observations from myself and other crewmates are consistent with self-reports, and her behavior has not raised any concerns for her mental or physical health, crewmate interaction or standard of work.

Patient previously declined anti-anxiety and anti-depressant medications when informed of hormonal level trends. Recommendations were made for meditation and yoga as an alternative, and recreational time spent focused on recreation rather than work-related projects.

 

Crewman Beck self-reports no development of depression or obsessive/compulsive thoughts or behaviors over the past weeks, but reported increased worry for Crewman Watney due to loss of communication (as noted in EHR).

Objective reports on behavior and standard of work can be obtained via Commander Lewis, who reports to NASA independently. As no complaints or reprimands have been issued, performance is assumed to have been satisfactory.

Patient declined anti-anxiety and anti-depressant medications and has been using meditation, yoga and increased consumption of bizarre German movies and American comedy series during recreation designated times to reduce stress and anxiety.

 

Please note hormone levels did not correspond with behavioral aberrations or reported distress. These levels have been trending back towards baseline levels for several weeks, suggesting that recommended treatment has been effective, or that underlying cause has abated.

 

Will re-evaluate hormone levels with afternoon samples to rule out development of Cushing’s syndrome and do an US of GI area with next physicals. No other alarming symptoms to report. 

Always appreciate your second opinion.  

Dr. Christopher Beck  
Flight Surgeon  
Ares 3

 

At 10:25 AM, Carina Chau wrote:

> Per attached EHRs submitted between July 9, 2036 and Aug 6, 2036 hormone levels in the following crew exhibit trends that merit further investigation: 
> 
> Beck, Christopher (Serotonin ↓ 82-140 ng/mL, base 199-230 ng/mL, Cortisol ↑ 27-38 mcg/dL, base 12-21 mcg/dL, Testosterone ↑ 709-1022 ng/dL, base 530-670 ng/dL )
> 
> Johanssen, Beth (Serotonin ↓ 68-97 ng/mL, base 124-140 ng/mL; Cortisol ↑ 24-32 mcg/dL, base 7-16 mcg/dL Testosterone ↑ 30-53 ng/dL, base 17-18 ng/dL )
> 
>   
> 
> Possible concerns include:
> 
> Obsessive thoughts and behaviors, Depression, Insomnia, Aggressive behaviors, Self-harming behaviors, Undiagnosed GI Infection, Stress-related disorders, Cushing’s Syndrome, Risk-taking behaviors 
> 
> Can you get back to me about what was going on during these weeks? Your notes were brief, and the data is mildly concerning. If there are additional symptoms of any of the above, please take immediate action.
> 
> Thanks,
> 
> Dr. Carina Chau  
>  Flight Surgeon  
>  Johnson Medical Clinic 
> 
> P.S. Happy belated birthday! 
> 
> [johanssenbeth.xml, beckchristopher.xml]
> 
>   

\---

 

From: Christopher Beck, Flight Surgeon, Ares 3  
To: Carina Chau at gmail dot com  
Date: August 8, 2036, 2:28 PM  
Subject: Seriously, we’re fine.

 

Hi Carina, 

Sorry to worry you. It’s been a few weeks of upheaval from the usual schedule. The possibility of the Taiyeng Shen failing was not an easy one to handle, especially after the news about Pathfinder, and we worked twelve hour days for about two weeks with no days off while we were close to Earth. We’re all feeling better after the re-supply, but Johanssen’s been spending a lot of her Rec time coding apps to monitor solar everything and our fuzzy new crew additions. She’s named them too, despite my advice not to get too attached.  

You know I actually kind of miss Houston’s heat and humidity? Things I never thought I’d say, especially as we get closer to the sun, but it’s been a constant 21 C on the Hermes for a year.

Hope you’re doing well. Please say hi to Ben, Aspen and Skye, and the Flight Surgeon team for me. 

Chris

P.S. Thanks! Older but maybe not wiser.

 

\---

  

From: Carina Chau at gmail dot com  
To: Christopher Beck, Flight Surgeon, Ares 3  
Date: August 9, 2036, 9:08 AM  
Subject: Re: Seriously, we’re fine.

  

Hi!

Glad to hear you’re getting some R&R- sounds like intern-paced non-stop. I wasn’t terribly worried, since your levels were bouncing back, but you know how we have to double-check everything.

Have you heard about Dr. Krint going private? I don’t know if anyone told you. There are several hundred applications for his position too, which means interviewing is going to be insane. Everybody wants a shot at Watney’s file/data and you’re probably going to get about fifty second opinions an hour once you get him back, just FYI. I’d be jealous of your amazing case but honestly? I don’t know when you’re going to sleep _._ Think one or two of your crewmates can be trained in sample diagnostics and/or basic nursing so you don’t have to multitask so much? You should really have a team to be the most effective. 

Ben and the kids are good, and they say hi back! We’re going to Disneyland for Labor Day weekend. They’ve promised to do chores all summer to earn the trip, so I’m trying to chalk this one up as a Parenting Win. 

Hope the Hermes and your crew are treating you well, and safe journey to all of you~ 

Carina  

P.S. TBH, your hormone levels look like something else to me? Is it what you mentioned while you were in training? And do they monitor personal emails the way they do office ones?

 

\---

 

From: Christopher Beck, Flight Surgeon, Ares 3  
To: Carina Chau at gmail dot com  
Date: August 10, 2036, 2:30 PM  
Subject: Re: Re: Seriously, we’re fine.

  

Hi, 

None of you ever talk about anything but official stuff on official email. I thought Krint was on perma-track. Wow. Does that mean one of you will have to do FC duties part time? 

I hadn’t thought of training a med team, but that’s a fantastic idea. I’m going to run it past the Commander- thanks! Feel free to send other ideas my way. I might even give you credit. :D

Did you go to the Yale Med reunion this year? I’m having vivid dreams of snow too.

Thanks for the frank advice. Miss being able to get a casual second opinion. 

Take care down there,  

Chris 

P.S. Yes. I don’t regret it. I hope you understand.

And I don’t know- it’s a gross invasion of privacy, so I would have assumed ‘no’ until FC told us they’d even censored Watney stuff out of our personal emails for two months.

 

\---

 

From: Carina Chau at gmail dot com  
To: Christopher Beck, Flight Surgeon, Ares 3  
Date: August 11, 2036, 9:16 AM  
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Seriously, we’re fine.

 

Just be glad I was the one doing the EMR analyses. I’ve already unflagged it as acceptable variation, but if I end up on FC or HR rounds BB is probably going to notice if anything’s still skewed off baseline, okay? 

He says he’s never going to fly again, so why stick around when there’s more money to be made in the private sector? I get it, but it feels like a huge loss for the clinic. I’m also rather curious as to how much was enough to pull him from the prospect of Watney/Ares 3 data. 

Har-dee-har-har. We’re still focused on getting you radiation therapy and exposure prevention/intervention around here, but TBH we’ll probably conference about it a bunch before you get him. JSC Med has got your back, okay?  

I did! Everybody was very curious about how you were doing- you should really update your facebook more often. I expect next year will be All About Treatment Protocol for NASA’s Most Recognizable Astronaut via our No. 1 Alum! No pressure at all!

Stay safe,  

Carina

P.S. Happy for you! Really. Ben too. And yeah, I remember the memo. Yikes. 

 

 

* * *

 

  

It’s more Watney’s style than his, but there’s a point when “safety first” can start reducing positive outcomes.

 

So Chris speaks up when there’s finally a pause in the hypotheticals. “Isn’t it easiest if I just go out and fix the shade? The magnetic field keeps most of the radiation off us anyway, and the EVA suit has its own protections. NASA estimates an exposure of 7 mSv if I’m out there an hour. That’s like getting a chest CT. If the dish breaks down in week, an EVA is going to involve even more radiation, especially since it’s probably going to be a way more complicated fix.”

 

Lewis glances over. “Johanssen?”

  

She nods reluctantly. “My calculations show that signal quality is going to continue to degrade unless we do something about the heating problem.”

 

Lewis nods coolly. “So we fix the shade. We can’t stop spinning though, or the hull will retain too much heat. Beck, you’re going to be spinning between blinding light and full darkness. Have you ever done an EVA like this?”

  

He raises his brows and shakes his head slightly. “No way. Too hazardous, too space sickness inducing. Even with the max dose of Scop-Dex there’s a good probability that I’ll throw up, which is going to be super fun in the suit. But I think we’re out of options, and the closer we get to the Sun the worse conditions are going to get. I’ll move slowly and deliberately along the same path I used last time. I know exactly how to bolt on a new one. The only problem I can foresee is if the strut was also damaged by the micrometeorite. So I can bring a new one, just in case.”

 

Lewis presses her lips together, considering. “Okay. I’ll be monitoring your tether in Airlock 1 and ready to back you up if something goes wrong. Johanssen will be on comms. I’ll also need Beck’s cam data from that EVA so I can study his route.”

 

She nods, eyes downcast. “Yes, Commander. I’ll pull it up right after the briefing.”

 

“Good. Beck, you’ll walk me through your route and then we’ll prep suits and materials. Vogel and Martinez, stick to your regular schedules. Goddard is dying for that data analysis, Vogel. Martinez, any maintenance you won’t be able to handle without Johanssen, you leave until after the EVA.”

 

They both nod silently, and she looks around at her crew. They’re all grimfaced and worried– who wouldn’t be? Nobody wants Beck to walk out into radiation soup. But this is what they signed up for.

 

She smiles bracingly. “Okay. Dismissed.”

 

* * *

 

 

From: Ingrid Bastante, Flight Surgeon, NASA-JSC  
To: Christopher Beck, Flight Surgeon, Ares 3  
Date: September 4, 2036, 11:43 AM  
Subject: Crewmen Johanssen (and yourself?)

 

Dear Dr. Beck,

Just a follow-up to the EMRs you submitted yesterday- both of you displayed rather high cortisol, testosterone and low serotonin levels but you didn’t put anything in her notes. Was that something to do with your EVA? 

Sincerely, 

Dr. Ingrid Bastante  
Flight Surgeon  
Johnson Medical Clinic

 

\---

 

From: Christopher Beck, Flight Surgeon, Ares 3  
To: Ingrid Bastante, Flight Surgeon, NASA-JSC  
Date: September 5, 2036, 3:43 PM  
Subject: Re: Crewmen Johanssen (and yourself?)

 

Dr. Bastante,

Probably- ever since Watney, Johanssen worries more when one of us has to work outside in sub-optimal conditions. (She was right next to him when the dish hit him and carried him off.) I offered her anti-anxiety meds and she declined, saying she expected it to fade on its own. I did an extra check today, and she reported feeling no residual anxiety, but I agree that it bears watching. I’ll update you guys after her physical next week. 

As for me, that was probably the most extreme EVA I’ve ever done- I was stressed as hell and planning for it non-stop. Probably what the hormones there are about- sorry, I didn’t think it deviated that much, considering. It was a once in a lifetime experience to stand on the top of the Hermes and see Mercury and Earth shining behind us and then Venus and the Sun just _huge_ whirling in front of us as I came back in, but I have never been so glad to finish an EVA. Total radiation exposure was 8 mSv, which I believe I noted?

Hope you’re doing well,

Dr. Christopher Beck  
Flight Surgeon  
Ares 3

 

\---

 

From: Beth Johanssen, Flight Engineer, Ares 3  
To: George Johanssen at yahoo dot com  
Date: September 12, 2036, 2:52 PM  
Subject: REMINDER

 

Hey Dad, 

Just giving you the yearly heads-up that your anniversary is coming up! Mom’s been saying the backyard needs something to pretty it up, but she didn’t mention anything specific, sorry. 

We’re still doing well. Here’s a selfie with the bright side of Mercury out the Rec room window! It’ll pass us in the next two weeks because it’s moving more than ten times faster than us, so we’ve all been planet gazing while we can. We’ll actually be hitching another gravity assist so that we can avoid the rotation of some sunspots, which might put us to Mars a bit earlier than anticipated but is far preferable to being caught by a solar storm! Plus we might even be home a couple days early!  

I know you never imagined I would do something like this, and while saving my crewmate was the main reason I volunteered to extend our mission, you need to understand that _being able to travel in space is why I decided to join NASA._ Please stop worrying that I’m “wasting [my] good years in a tin can”, okay? (Friendly reminder that I built the software that runs this tin can!) I’m really, really happy. My work is exciting and challenging, and I’m part of an amazing, supportive team. The relationships I have with my crewmates will last a lifetime, plus I think you and me actually communicate better through email than texting, even if it’s got a time delay. Creatively, I’m still coding in my free time, and my fellow programmers send me stuff to keep me up to date on programming trends and developments. I won’t say it isn’t hard, or that I don’t miss things like being able to upgrade hardware; the smell of rain or Mom’s cooking. But I’m so grateful to have the chance to be here too.

Yes, there’s more solar radiation (but actually less cosmic radiation) as we get closer to the Sun, so we’re shunting more power into cooling and magnetic shielding. So it’s perfect that we have solar panels because their power output increases the closer we get to their energy source! The Hermes has several redundant types of radiation shielding, so no, they didn’t send up any lead aprons, although we have film that we put over the Bridge windows so the glare (and heat) isn’t be as bad. (Midnight sun all the time up here.) NASA thought of everything, even worst-case scenarios and back-up plans for them. And we have a very conscientious doctor here keeping an eye on us. Even if we have to wear spacesuits inside during a solar storm, I shouldn’t come home with cancer.  

I’m attaching video logs of a couple programs you can save and share- Hermes’ projected trajectory with respect to planetary orbits, and the other one is a visual representation of radiation/magnetic field interaction. I wrote it so we can estimate the effects of solar storms on the modulation of Hermes’ magnetic fields, but I think it’s beautiful too. 

Love you and miss you, 

Beth 

[mercuryandmeMD433.jpg, hermesrichpurnell.mp4, CMEprojections.mp4]

 

 

* * *

 

 

She can’t put her finger on it at first, but Commander Lewis can tell something is different about the crew dynamic.

  

At first, she’d attributed the change to getting to talk with their loved ones and all the fresh supplies they’d brought on board. Even basic things like new underwear will boost morale. And cutting through the inner solar system on their way to Watney gives them a whole new set of challenges and rewards. They’re not stiff-upper-lipping it through a tedious journey; they’re striving to overcome problems NASA had never anticipated a human crew would face. It’s inspiring to lead a motivated team, even if the looming threat of a CME blasting them has to linger in the back of their minds the way it does hers.

  

But it’s not just that. And it’s been bothering her that she can’t tell what’s shifted although she can feel it in her bones.

  

So she sits back and observes during their usual card game/movie time. Nothing is unusual: they’re seated around the table with drinks, watching Vogel’s choice of movie- some popular German action flick with subtitles. Martinez has kicked back and set his feet on Watney’s usual seat, and Vogel is doing the same with Beck’s while Beck and Johanssen are seated side by side on the couch reading.

  

Her eyes widen with bemusement when she finally spots the difference.

  

Beck had always been achingly careful to keep a polite distance between himself and Johanssen, doing his utmost to keep things professional despite his attraction to her. Lewis had always felt a little bad, but blue balls had never killed anyone and it was only supposed to be a thirteen-month mission.

 

Watching them fall for each other while steadfastly refusing to act on their feelings was romantic, in a Victorian novel kind of way. And it bolstered her respect for them immensely: they obviously valued the mission and their continued friendly rapport more than risking a romance that could sour things for all of them.

  

She hadn’t missed the way Beck had taken one long, hard look at Johanssen before smiling shakily and agreeing to go for Watney. Beth had held his gaze after, shaking her head haplessly before she’d laughed and agreed.

 

Watney’s life was more important. They could all continue to press pause on the rest of their lives until they’d given saving him the best shot they could.

  

Or so she’d thought.

   

Now Johanssen’s sitting cross-legged, as usual, and Beck’s next to her frowning at his tablet.

  

What’s odd is that her knee is resting against his thigh and he hasn’t moved away. In fact, he looks totally relaxed instead of hyperaware of her proximity.

 

Which either means they’ve gotten over each other completely-- or they’ve been sleeping together for long enough to be used to casual contact.

  

Huh.

  

She mentally reviews their behavior over the last few months, and it’s not hard to figure out what the catalyst must have been. Beth Johanssen had been absolutely devastated by the contingency plan. The betrayal and rebellion in her eyes had been there for only a few moments before she’d swallowed and seemed to accept the decision, but it had probably pushed her past that long self-imposed denial.

  

Nothing like the threat of losing something forever to spur making a last, desperate grab. 

 

The departure from their usual patterns in the time around the re-supply and gravity assist would also have helped cover the initial honeymoon period, and they’ve been very careful to maintain the appearance of friendly boundaries, down to their usual patterns of relaxing in their free time.

 

But there were small tells: how oddly unnerved he’d been, talking about the crew hormone levels NASA had flagged that week; how he’s been drinking more coffee than usual ever since. He’d glibly blamed “Johanssen’s bad influence” when she’d mentioned it, but now she understands the joke he’d obliquely poked at her there.

 

Johanssen is a lot harder to read, but there are clues in her behavior too: she’s been doing bedding laundry a lot more often. Which by itself would mean little, but in context, is a definite clue about not only the occurrence of sexual activity, but its exact location.

 

Makes sense. Beck’s bunk is fastened to the wall he shares with Vogel’s quarters, and that would hardly be the most discreet place to conduct their affair. Johanssen’s is at the end of the hall.

 

She can’t really blame them. She’s seen enough of the same in her time on submarines and visiting Arctic docks to understand the need for connection in isolation. And another nineteen months is a long time to hold out when the person you’ve desired for months wants you back.

 

If she’s pinned it right, they had basically finished the original mission before they gave in, and the current mission has been unaffected by the change in their relationship. If anything, it’s probably been helping them cope with the loneliness of the extended time away from home.

  

Still, she’ll have to keep an eye on it. Their steadily growing attraction hadn’t skewed crew dynamics any more than Watney and Martinez’s bromance did, but a sexual relationship can bias decisions considerably. So far they’ve both remained logical and agreeable in crew meetings, but it’s still a factor to be aware of. Plus it’s officially against NASA regs, although there are no consequences there that they aren’t already expecting after the Rich Purnell maneuver. What worries her is the possibility of what his medical board will do if they’re discovered.

 

Still, she can’t help covering a smile when Beck turns his tablet to Johanssen and shows her something that gets her giggling.

  

They’re obviously happy in their little bubble and it’s pretty damned cute.

  

 

* * *

 

  

From: Mitch Henderson, Flight Director, NASA-JSC  
To: Melissa Lewis, Mission Commander, Ares 3  
Date: October 16, 2036, 5:45 PM  
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Hermes flight trajectory

 

Hi Lewis,

SOHO-GSC reports that the _Hermes_ should continue maintaining this trajectory and speed. Solar activity isn’t perfectly predictable, but they still estimate there is a 50% chance of a CME that could affect you around MD 485. Yes, that’s as exact as they can get. Good news is: it’ll probably be a smaller one and the _Hermes_ should be out of its direct path. Bad news is: any blow could still be fatal for the crew, although the _Hermes_ itself will probably survive if Johanssen puts it in safe mode. Will keep you updated as a top priority. Dr. Shields will contact you shortly about preparing the crew.   

Mitch Henderson  
Flight Director  
Johnson Space Center

 

 

* * *

 

 

Chris inhales resentfully when the ship alarm blares before his eyes snap open in horrified realization and he shakes Beth.

 

“Beth! Wake up!”

  

Lewis’ voice comes over the comms a second later. “Beck, zip next door and haul Johanssen out of bed if you need to! This is not a drill!”

  

Having already unzipped the sheet, Chris grabs Beth’s headset from its charger to reply. “On it!”

 

Lewis continues. “Houston, this is Hermes actual. Be advised that we’ve got an S-type CME approaching on a bearing of 190 mark 200. Communications will likely be down shortly due to preceding solar flare. Hope to catch you on the other side of this.”

 

Heart pounding, Beth grabs the proffered headset and clumsily scrambles out behind him. They slept in their ventilation garments and diapers as a precaution, so all they need to do is head for the Control room, where their EVA suits are waiting.

  

At least they got a few hours sleep together before possible death.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Annie’s used to giving terrible news on this podium now. It’s still crap, but she’s got it down pat. Kapoor looks a lot less at ease, but she needs someone who can answer the questions from the clamoring hordes and thanks to _The Mark Watney Report_ , everybody is familiar with the way he explains the jargon.

  

At least this press conference is not about Watney.

  

“At approximately 3:20AM local time, the _Hermes_ was overtaken by an S-type Coronal Mass Ejection, an explosive release of plasma and electromagnetic radiation from the Sun’s surface. As we are currently in a period of Solar Maximum, the crew has drilled and prepared for this possibility many times. Before communications were interrupted, they informed us that their pilot, Rick Martinez, was burning their altitude adjust engines to gain enough velocity to match its speed and their SysOp Tech, Beth Johanssen, had placed their systems in safe mode to weather out the storm. We are still waiting to hear from them again, but our satellites show that the _Hermes_ is still intact at this time.”

  

There’s a moment of horrified silence before the questions begin:

 

“Was there a possibility of a _breach_?” “Why didn’t they move out of its path?” “Will this affect Watney’s possible rescue?”

 

Annie gives Venkat a prodding look before he steps up to the podium. “If you can recall, the _Hermes_ actually got a gravity assist from Mercury several weeks ago to help them avoid sunspots, where CMEs usually originate. Typically we would have a great deal more warning that a CME was headed their way, and the crews of all three Ares missions, including the Ares 3, have weathered them without issue before. Dealing with solar weather is simply a part of interplanetary travel. However, the _Hermes_ currently has about a hundred million kilometers less buffer than usual, and at this distance, it’s actually not the increased amount of radiation that concerns us most. The force of a Coronal Mass Ejection usually dissipates into the Solar Wind. Now, the _Hermes_ uses a magnetic field to protect itself from radiation. Imagine two magnets pushing against each other in equilibrium- this is the way the _Hermes_ and Earth, actually, shields itself from the radiation it is constantly bombarded with. But if you suddenly add _force_ to one of those magnets-“

 

Venkat gestures and there are murmurs of consternation as understanding dawns. “Whether the ship and crew can survive _that acceleration_ is our greatest concern. Still, this was a small CME, and it hit them with a glancing blow. We’re very hopeful.”

 

“According to NASA, an S-type CME usually moves at 400 km/s! How fast is this one? And how fast was the _Hermes_ moving?”

 

Venkat holds up a hand. “Only initially! _Transient_ speed is how we classify CMEs. You have to remember there are still about 72 million kilometers between them and the Sun. I doubt Commander Lewis would have wasted engine fuel unless they believed they could gain enough velocity to survive the difference in acceleration. The Hermes is currently still moving at 4.2 km/s.”

 

 

“But the _Hermes_ crew could be dead?”

 

 

Annie moves her head just a smidgen as a silent cue, but Venkat already knows how to answer that one.

 

 

“…We don’t know that at this time.”

 

 

* * *

 

  

From: Melissa Lewis, Mission Commander, Ares 3  
To: Venkat Kapoor, Director of Mars Operations, NASA-JSC  
Date: November 5, 2036, 9:46 AM  
Subject: Re: Are you receiving?

 

Glad you saw the solar panels. We figured spreading one would let you know at least one of us had made it- a Watney inspired idea! Plus we needed the power- we’d shunted everything into shielding. 

Obviously radiation damage and electrostatic charges fried a lot of our systems anyway. But as you can tell from this email, _we are back online!_

Johanssen has been a trooper. She worked for fifty-eight hours straight to repair critical systems, replacing chipsets, rewriting endless amounts of code and barely pausing to caffienate. She’s confident that it’s mostly software glitches (“more upsets than latchups”). I’ll have Beck assess her condition and likely put her on light duty after letting her sleep it off, but I doubt she’ll wake for at least the next twelve hours. 

Instruments say we were at 8Gs for 21.8 s and then 4Gs for 9.6s, but we’re not suffering from acceleration sickness so much as exhaustion and stress. We’ve been sleeping in shifts and haven’t had any Rec time or gravity since MD 475. Geiger counter on the wall says we were all exposed to about 20mSv of radiation, even in the shielded control room. Not sure how much of that our suits protected us from. Dr. Beck has been pinning us down for physicals one at a time and I’m sure he’ll report to JSC Med once he has all our data.

We’re still hip deep in repairs and maintenance, but I anticipate we’ll be back to full function in a week. Vogel reports that we were knocked off course, with our magnetic field skipping us “like a stone on a terrible wave”, but he’s made the necessary adjustments and we’ll only lose a few hours from our original Mars intercept. He’ll send you the full telemetry once he’s sure his readings are accurate. Johanssen hasn’t parsed all our systems yet because she prioritized life support, reactor systems and communications. 

We’ve completed integrity checks on computers, shield generators, the hull, airlocks, reactor, transmitters, adjust engines, solar panels and fuel, water and oxygen tanks. I’ll be helping Martinez assess the centripetal loop motors today. Expect a long list of damaged components soon.  

Extra grateful to the god of luck and travelers, 

 

Melissa Lewis  
Mission Commander  
Ares 3

 

\---

  

From: Christopher Beck, Flight Surgeon, Ares 3  
To: Amy Beck at gmail dot com  
Date: November 29, 2036, 8:22 PM  
Subject: Re: Re: Thanksgiving dinner 

 

Amy,

I get it, you were all worried. We’re okay though, and we’re headed away from the Sun now. We don’t like being in NASA’s red zone any better than you do, trust me.

So I was waiting to take this shot for a long time. This is Beth Johanssen, and she’s fixing computer code in the Rec so she can drink coffee at the same time. See that big yellow dot over her shoulder out the window? That’s the bright side of Venus! And you can also probably recognize the pale blue dot on her other side. Pretty cool view out the back window of our ride, huh? 

And hey, don’t think you can just drop the conversation about this new dude. I don’t care how you met him- just tell me how you like him.

Love you,  

Chris 

[Venus.jpg]

 

\---

 

From: Amy Beck at gmail dot com  
To: Christopher Beck, Flight Surgeon, Ares 3  
Date: November 30, 2036, 9:12 AM  
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Thanksgiving dinner

 

Uh, sure, it was the view out the back window that you were showing me. That’s why she’s smiling at you like that. Cool story, bro. (I thought that wasn’t allowed? Are the NASA people still reading your emails?) 

I like him okay, I guess? I know that is a horribly lukewarm appraisal when the dates have been really fun but it’s like… not a crush-y, giddy feeling when he texts or emails, you know? I’m going to give it one more shot but I’m thinking this is FWB at best. I dunno. (Are you sure it isn’t weird to talk about this kind of stuff with you?) 

Anyway, better go. Hoping the crowds have stayed home today and that BARGAINS WILL BE HAD. 

Love you,

Amy

 

* * *

 

 

From: Melissa Lewis, Mission Commander, Ares 3  
To: Theodore Sanders, Administrator of NASA, NASA Headquarters  
CC: Venkat Kapoor, Director of Mars Operations, NASA-JSC; Annie Montrose, Director of Media Relations, NASA-JSC; Bruce Ng, Director of JPL, NASA-JPL;…  
Date: December 21, 2036, 9:02 AM  
Subject: Christmas Card

 

Merry Christmas, Frohe Weihnachten and Feliz Navidad from the Ares 3 crew!

 

 

(Group crew picture around a Christmas tree cut from light blocking window film on the Rec window, decorated with silver garlands and ornaments cut out of ration packages. It’s topped with a pale blue dot in the distance.)

 

For more on how Ares 3 Astrophysicist Alex Vogel and Flight Engineer Beth Johanssen planned how to time and place this shot visit:

www (dot) nasa (dot) gov (slash) mission_pages (slash) ares_3 (slash) xmas2036 (dot) html 

 

[Ares3Xmas2036.jpg]

 

* * *

 

 

From: Melissa Lewis, Mission Commander, Ares 3  
To: Professor Robert Lewis at uh dot edu  
Date: January 22, 2037, 8:33 PM  
Subject: Oh, yes I did

 

Hey babe, 

So yesterday was pretty epic, and I don’t just mean the pranks. Martinez keeps chuckling randomly and shaking his head.

On that note, the shift in mission priorities is definitely palpable, both here and from NASA in general. We’re definitely out of the “Determined to Survive the Sun” part and onto the “Prepping to get Watney” leg. Johanssen and Martinez have been conferencing with the folks down at JPL and Beck has been studying up on malnutrition and psychotherapy. He’s asked me, Vogel and Martinez to be part of his treatment team so he can focus on treating Mark and conferring with other doctors instead of analyzing tissue samples and blending up food with vitamins and extra protein etc. 

I bet you noticed what he did there too. ;) They’ve been very careful but I outed them at afternoon brief yesterday since we’re having a bit of a maintenance problem and really, almost everybody had figured it out anyway. I think it was stressing them more to keep up the ruse (and the rest of us to try to pretend we were none the wiser). 

11 months left! 

xxoo 

Melissa

 

 

* * *

 

 

From: Venkat Kapoor, Director of Mars Operations, NASA-JSC  
To: Melissa Lewis, Mission Commander, Ares 3  
Date: February 9, 2037, 2:11 PM  
Subject: He’s on the way!

 

Commander,

Just wanted to let you know that Watney is officially traveling to Schiaparelli! Here are a couple pictures from SatCon. Hope they help with morale. We’re all very excited here. 

Praying for safe travels for all parts of the Ares 3 crew, 

Venkat Kapoor  
Director of Mars Operations

 

[modifiedroverwithtrailer.jpg, watneycamp1.jpg]

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Rick,” Lewis says warningly, raising an eyebrow.

 

“Aw, come on!” he protests. “It’s Valentine’s Day! We even got chocolate hearts and red and pink jellybeans from NASA! But nada from our actual lovebirds?”

 

Johanssen doesn’t look up from her laptop, but she shakes her head and grins. “Don’t want to make you jealous, is all.”

 

“I’m not jealous, I’m nosy.”

 

Beck snorts. “Yeah, we got that.”

 

Martinez grins at him and waits expectantly, but all Beck does is duck his head and try to focus on his tablet, although his cheeks hold a distinct flush.

 

“Aw, come on! Showing affection boosts cooperation or something- even my three year old handed out Valentines at daycare.”

 

Vogel grins. “Germans celebrate Valentine’s Day as well. According to my wife, my Eliza had big plans for today.”

 

That gets Beth’s attention. “Awww! Did she get her cute boy something?”

 

He nods, smiling. “She made him a ginger flavored cookie with icing words on top: _Magst du mich?_ In English, ‘Do you like me?’”

 

Martinez doesn’t miss a beat. “Seriously, Beck: that means Vogel’s kid has more game than you.”

 

Chris raises his brows and nods seriously, pulling up the manual pen program on his tablet. They all watch while he obviously draws a heart and writes for a few seconds before he stands up and strides across the room to deliver the tablet to Beth.

 

She tilts her head and smiles questioningly as he approaches. He’s obviously doing this mostly to humor Martinez, but there’s a teasing gleam in his eyes.

 

She covers her face and laughs when she reads the message, written within a red heart.

 

“Oh my god! _You are such a dork._ ”

 

She turns it around so the rest of them can see:

 

 

Beth,

My feelings for you are out of this world.

  Love,

  Chris

 

 

They endure the hoots of laughter and whoops with blushes and embarrassed smiles before Beth rolls her eyes and stows both her laptop and his tablet.

 

“You don't have to leave! We’re just teasing. We’ll stop,” Martinez promises, smirking.

 

Beth scrunches up her nose.

 

“But now I have to give him _his_ present. Night, guys,” she says sweetly, and she practically skips to the ladder.

 

Chris smiles in obvious baffled delight and gives Martinez a grateful look and shoulder slap before he hurries to follow her. Vogel starts laughing quietly, shaking in his chair.

 

Rick rocks back in his chair. “Okay, _now_ I’m jealous,” he declares.

 

Vogel laughs even harder and mutters something in German before he wipes at his eyes.

 

“It’s Valentine’s Day. Go write to your wife,” Lewis chortles, shoving his shoulder.

 

 

* * *

 

 

From: Venkat Kapoor, Director of Mars Operations, NASA-JSC  
To: Melissa Lewis, Mission Commander, Ares 3  
Date: February 28, 2037, 1:38 PM  
Subject: Crewmen Beck and Johanssen

 

Commander, 

I’m sorry I even have to write this, especially in consideration of the dust storm that must already be troubling you. Please understand that this is not a reflection of the performance of you or your crew in any shape or form. As always, you have all done an exemplary job in some truly dire circumstances. We could not be prouder of the remarkable achievements of the Ares 3 crew.  

However, the audio logs of the _Hermes_ are public record, and there has been a great deal of analysis of the logs during the time period involving the CME since their recent release. 

Unfortunately, two things have ignited rampant speculation:

 

  1. Beck used Johanssen’s headset at 2:18 AM to reply that he would wake her. (“On it!”) It is clearly his voice, despite the computer reporting that it is her headset.


  1. Just after you ask the crew to “Brace for impact” at 3:20AM, Johanssen says (rather tearfully), “Chris,” and he replies (also emotionally), “I know.”



 

Which leads me to the question: are they involved in a romantic relationship?

 

Feel free to deny everything. Plenty of possible computer problems to explain the first, and we all know the crew are very close. But the Director of Media Relations has been hounding me about something called “shippers” who are now dominating Ares/NASA hashtags on social media.

 

Please know that Beck and Johanssen have our full support in the wake of _any_ announcement.

 

Sincerely, 

Venkat Kapoor  
Director of Mars Operations

 

 

* * *

 

 

“I’ll get right to the point. NASA wants to know whether you two are in a relationship. JSC Med notified me about some… discrepancies in the medical records a few months back, and I refused to either confirm or deny their suspicions, but the Director of Mars Operations asked me point blank today. I need to answer. And the whole crew has to be on the same page when that answer is given.”

 

Chris and Beth look down and nod seriously.

 

Lewis continues. “Now, for the record, you two have given me no cause to bring this up. You’ve been discreet and respectful, and your work has not been impacted in the slightest. What I _suspect_ is that NASA wants to capitalize on the opportunity. The Director has offered NASA’s full support, whatever you decide to state. But what worries me are the possible consequences if you come clean. Especially for you, Beck. More PR for Ares 3 isn’t worth losing your medical license over.”

 

Beth looks up in horror. “Is that a possibility?”

  

“You’re technically his patient. Beck, your opinion?”

  

He sighs and shrugs restlessly. “I mean, it’s technically possible. But the Board will be aware of the extenuating circumstances. We’ve spent almost two years on a tiny ship together. Doctors are human too and we’re consenting adults in a healthy relationship. It’s not like I assaulted her on the exam table or she’s exchanging sexual favors for scrips. I don’t know anybody who’s actually faced a malpractice or ethics hearing though. I’d have to look it up.”

 

Beth pales and Lewis nods briskly. “Well, I’d like to get some idea of what kind of precedents there are before we decide what goes on record. We’ve already got Rich Purnell consequences to face. If we need to deny this until we’re blue in the face, we need to be ready to.”

  

“I understand. And I’ll get you answers on that as soon as I can. But honestly, Commander? I’m tired of hiding. I want to tell my family and friends about Beth and not have to worry that NASA’s reading my emails. I don’t want to evade my colleagues over why I’m not prescribing myself or Johanssen anti-depressants or anti-anxiety meds despite reductions in serotonin and elevated cortisol; why our testosterone levels have changed baseline. We all know why the two of us have altered hormonal levels, and it’s not because we’re sick.”

 

Beth gives Lewis an earnest look, eyes pleading. “It wasn’t him that started it either- _it was me._ If anyone deserves-”

 

Lewis holds up a hand. “Nobody is looking to assign blame, I promise. I just want to make sure we do our utmost to reduce the odds of negative consequences.”

 

They both nod, rather subdued.

  

“Get back to me with your decision when you can,” she says gently.

 

 

* * *

 

 

From: Beth Johanssen, Flight Engineer, Ares 3  
To: George Johanssen at yahoo dot com  
CC: Marie Johanssen at yahoo dot com  
Date: March 2, 2037, 9:15 AM  
Subject: Christopher Beck

 

Mom, Dad, 

I know you’ve suspected for a while that something has been going on between us, but I couldn’t tell you while we were trying to keep it secret from NASA. It turns out they figured it out anyway, so here goes: 

As you know, Chris and I became very good friends in the first year of our mission. We were waiting until we got back to Earth before we did anything about our attraction to each other, but remember that plan I told you about, Dad? I didn’t want him to die before he knew how I really felt. And we’ve been together ever since- we’re still very much in love, and we’ve actually been sharing my quarters since the end of January because some of the other quarters had heating problems. 

I’m sorry that I had to keep such a big part of my life from you, but we tried to keep it secret from everyone, even the crew, because it violates NASA’s official regulations. Just know that it’s given me a lot of comfort to have someone here I can be completely open with. Commander Lewis has no problems with our relationship, given the extreme circumstances and how it hasn’t negatively affected our work performance, and it seems her superiors agree. 

You’ll probably be seeing something in the media fairly soon about us. Feel free to ask me anything you want before that happens. I didn’t want it to take you by surprise, and it’s such a relief to finally share this. 

I can’t wait for you to meet him. Just a few more months! 

Lots of love, 

Beth

 

* * *

 

 

Annie Montrose is having a good day.

  

Mark Watney managed to outsmart a gigantic invisible dust storm yesterday and now this announcement will finally put an end to some truly endless “No Comment”-ing.

  

So Annie smiles as she takes the podium.

 

“As many Facebook feed watchers are doubtless aware, Ares 3 astronauts Christopher Beck and Beth Johanssen have acknowledged that they are currently in a romantic relationship. Despite NASA’s official policy on astronaut fraternization, we have taken into account the extenuating circumstances of the prolonged mission, their exemplary professional performance and careful use of discretion on a very small ship. After conferring via radio with the relevant parties on the _Hermes_ , the Aerospace Medicine Board has also agreed that any ethical and professional dilemmas have been adequately addressed in the eight months they have been together. Pending future developments in the remaining months of the Ares 3 mission, we would like to conclude with the assessment of Commander Lewis: that their relationship has always been a source of strength in their mission, and that what they do in their private time is really not anybody's business. However, to appease the curious, they’ve released a picture.”

 

She clicks the remote and looks up, pleased.

 

It’s a casual shot of the two of them sitting on the Rec sofa in their usual way: she’s cross-legged and he’s not, and the ‘15’ tattoo on her left shoulder is next to the ‘14’ on his right bicep. They’re holding hands and smiling.

 

She couldn’t have asked for a better shot. Not too sappy or sexy. Their expressions are the perfect mix of happy, shy and proud. Just two good-looking astronauts in love.

  

Someone shouts that question anyway and she sighs. Fucking human nature.

  

“Can you believe they volunteered this information right off the bat? No, they haven’t had intercourse in zero gravity. In the interest of discretion, they’ve kept their private life in their personal quarters. There are cameras in all zero-g parts of the _Hermes_. And due to the detrimental effects of microgravity on astronaut health, they rarely turn off the centripetal gravity loop.”

  

She smiles brightly.  

 

“Now. If we’re done prying into the private lives of two brave, smart, thoroughly decent people, can we move on to the professional strides the _Hermes_ crew has made towards saving Mark Watney?”

  

 

She doesn't actually care. Let them speculate all they want. 

 

 

Today all is still right in the entire solar system.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bet you didn’t think this could get any nerdier than the last chap, huh? XDD 
> 
> So I tried to do what Weir did, and research things that could possibly go wrong, but for the _Hermes_ instead of Mark in the missing months between chapters 19 and 20. In the book, it sounds like Venkat and Teddy are being unreasonable by not even asking the crew to consider the Rich Purnell (and that Mark is somehow home-free once he gets onboard the ship), but if you look at the actual flight path, it’s not actually a **low** chance of killing 6 people when 2036 is smack dab in the middle of a solar maximum (albeit predicted to be a low intensity one) and [the flight path cuts well within Mercury's orbit for months.](https://www.insidescience.org/news/inside-spaceflight-martian) But hey, this is exactly what fanfic is for, right? :DDD 
> 
> I plotted out the orbits for Mercury and Venus in 2036 vs. the timeline (Yes, I did math. Look at the Sacrifices I make For Art.) and I think the angles are correct for the crew observations/pictures, since they only have windows facing the front and back of the ship. I was sad that they didn’t get to flyby Venus too, but I think settling for pics of her bright side would be pretty good!
> 
> Comments are very much appreciated, especially if you think I got the science wrong. Always happy to edit!


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